The Inside Secret

So, it really is true.

Sometimes, I feel invisible. I reach out and touch myself just to make sure I still exist. I’m the roadie making sure everyone has just what they need. I’m the cab driver just getting them place to place. I’m the camel walking ahead or behind lugging racquets, jackets, back packs, water bottles and crayons. I’m known as someone’s Mom not by my real name or a title.

Sometimes, I feel mundane. No, maybe just too plain. I walk them to school in gym shorts and bright orange crocks. I wear capris so I can gracefully maneuver at the park. I am often wearing a t-shirt with stains from dirty hands. I don’t have time for accessories and my purse is too loaded to change. My comfortable shoes are tattered from keeping up. My make-up is minimal because my time was spent making their lunch and doing their hair. I don’t have the time, energy or money to keep up with the latest fashions.

And then it happened. My oldest insisted that I follow in family tradition of wearing a birthday hat for my celebration at a local restaurant. When I jokingly replied that I should wear my tiara, she whole heartedly agreed. This tiara was the very one that I wore on my wedding day some six years ago. It was sealed in a box at the top of my closet.

My daughters shrieked in delight as we opened the box. And there it was…as beautiful as the December day that I wore it last.

With the tiara in hand, I slipped away. Leaving my very hungry husband to load up the girls, I began to tear through my closet. I changed into a hip black ensemble, switched ear rings, found a perfect necklace, dabbed on some Channel, used my twice a year eye shadow and mascara and managed a quick up do-before securing the tiara on my head. I looked pretty and I felt pretty.

That night, I walked a little more poised. I smiled a bit more. I felt graceful. My husband and daughters kept staring at me. The restaurant patrons probably wandered what the tiara was all about, but it didn’t matter to me. Our youngest played the tambourine with the entertainer and my oldest showered me with home made cards and gifts collected from home. And my husband sat a little closer and held my hand.

Several years ago, a Mother explained to our group that the best remedy for those down, doubt yourself days was a tiara. She kept a tiara handy for those days and moments. She would wear it while cleaning, grocery shopping or at events with the kids. It reminder her that she was a queen-a different type of queen. The shoulders rolled back and the smile came forward. After all, you have to be happy when you are donning a beautiful tiara. The secret of the tiara…is on the inside not the outside.

So, it is really true. And I am keeping my tiara handy.