Just the Usual

Alarm goes off. One eye opens-one stays closed. “So soon!” I say out loud. Hit snooze. Five more hours needed-get five more minutes courtesy of the snooze setting. Stumble out of bed to shower. Shower interrupted by toddler screaming for chocolate milk. Cat #1 is poised at the entrance of the shower demanding to be fed.

Skip shaving and run half wet to the kitchen to fix bottle #1-met by toddler #2 who has obviously gotten up in the wrong side of the bed screaming she needs to potty and I must watch. Stand there watching-cat pawing at me for food. Return to kitchen to make two bottles. Return to bathroom. Attempting to put clothes on when a shouting match erupts. Run out, still in towel, to break up the fight. Children now moaning that they are starving. Throw cinnamon toaster sticks in the toaster and remember there are wet clothes in the washer.

Place clothes in dryer and decide to start a new load as well. Run to three rooms gathering darks, still in a towel, place those in washer. Screaming for food getting louder-might as well serve them breakfast. Still in a towel, slap the sticks on a plate, round up some fruit and then search for lost milk for five minutes. Find milk, toddler #2 needs her bear and toddler #1 needs her bedroom shoes! Ten minutes later, locate both and all seems well. Turn around to see cat #1 now sitting by the food dish –hear another sound. Seems cat #2 is throwing up a hair ball. Tell cat #1 just another few minutes---clean up the mess with a paper towel.

Still in a towel, phone rings and husband adds a few more things to my to do list for the day. Hang up phone and notice the kitchen area is a mess. Unload the dishwasher, gather up an arm load of items that have been deposited in the kitchen and return them to their site of origin. While heading back to my bathroom, toddler #2 screams that she has messed up her pants. Scoop up her up, go to her room, change her and then attempt to get her dressed. After eleven minutes of battling a two year old about her attire for the day, I throw my hands up. I send toddler #1 in to assist and minutes later toddler# 2 appears smiling with multi-colored shorts, a polka dotted shirt , striped hair bow, socks pulled up to her knees and Hello Kitty shoes on the wrong feet.

Cat #1 is now attacking my feet to protest his hunger and my delay. I head back to my bathroom once more. I am drying my hair when toddler #1 comes in screaming that she has hurt herself. Still in a towel, pick her up and hug her. Hand in hand, we go to her bathroom to doctor the cut and place a band aid on it. Together, we go to her room to pick out her clothes for the day. I leave her with instructions to get dressed and brush her teeth. I head back to my bathroom once more.

My hair is complete and I am putting my make-up on when the phone rings again. It is my husband once more calling to chat because he is stuck in commuter traffic and wants to go over a few things. I explain it is a bit busy and after a short good-bye we hang up both somewhat mad. I finish my make-up and suddenly remember that I need to complete a permission slip for toddler #1 and a note for the teachers of toddler #2---and I really must mail those two bills that we keep forgetting about. I dash out to do so before I forget. I spend 8 minutes looking for those stamps that must have been moved by my husband! Sure enough, I find them in one of his spots! I place all in a neat “to go” pile by the door.

I see some items that should have been placed in the recycling bin last night. I open the garage door and while placing them in the bin, realize the litter boxes are long overdue for scooping. Still in my towel, I scoop the litter boxes. I then open the garage door and eye the paper. Still in my towel, I decide that retrieving the paper at this hour may be a bit risky. I call out to toddler #1 for help. After smelling the Hibiscus, saving an earthworm, petting cat #2, she brings the paper in.

I return to my bedroom, still in a towel, to finally get dressed. I am in my closet and turn around to see toddler #2 wearing my shoes and a pair if my underwear on her head. Toddler #1 comes around the corner with what looks like grease smeared on her face-turns out she had used 3 different tubes of lip gloss. I grab a shirt and some capris-a Mom uniform my husband always tells me. I am dressed! The cat is now holding a sign saying “Will work for food.” I promise him not much longer.

I return to the kitchen. Toddler #1 and #2 have barely touched their breakfast. I place them back in their seats and set a timer promising to whisk their food away when it beeps. I look around and notice the floor is a mess. Thinking of ants, I get the broom and dustpan out and begin sweeping. I then remember I still have a lunch to make. In the middle of all this, I throw an English muffin in the toaster and some oatmeal in the microwave for me. I then go back to making the lunch. Could have sworn I had plenty of cheese but seems two packages were molded. Thankfully, I find one piece to salvage, One remaining juice box had no straw attached-big one should work just fine. Lunch is complete! Beeper goes off and the two had finished their breakfast-finally! I sit down, set a record for eating quickly and scanning the paper. (After all, It is important to be knowledgable about current events!)

I yell for toddler #1 to assist toddler #2 in brushing teeth. Hearing a commotion, I rush in to find that they have had a water fight and that cat #1 had fallen in the toilet trying to get a sip of water. Toddler #2 is unscathed but toddler one has to change clothes. I towel dry the cat.

I return to the kitchen to load up back packs shouting to the toddlers to hurry! (Don’t want to miss the drop off line.) I remember it is show and tell today for toddler #1 and scurry to find something for the letter t. Stashing a tomato and her lunch box in her back pack, I pray all will make it there safely. I load up toddler #2’s backpacks with six pairs of underwear and some change of clothing-she is still potty training.

I glance at the clock. Seven minutes to get to school and it takes four in driving. I march both out the door with back packs in tow. We load the car-I wonder if my neighbor can hear me barking orders? Finally, they are buckled in. I get in the car and loudly exhale. I put the car in reverse, back out and head down the road.(Did I leave skid marks?) I suddenly turn around, come back up the drive way and leave the car running with them in it. I hurry back in and hurry back out. “What did you go in for Mom?” toddler one asks. “The cat needed to be fed.” I shouted as I also placed the bills in the mail box.

I got back in, buckled up and exhaled loudly once more. Placed High School Musical Two in and drove away noting a huge stain located in the middle of my shirt. I was last in the pick-up line. One teacher asked, “How is your morning going?” I replied, “Fine, thanks. Just the usual.”