Christmas Lost and Found

Just the other day, my oldest daughter was thumbing through a toy magazine. Every couple of minutes, she would announce that this was THE toy she wanted for Christmas. After the list reached some ten toys, I gently reminded her that Santa only had a limited number of elves and time to fill the wishes of all the boys and girls. She heartily agreed and then proceeded to select another eight before closing the magazine. Her list was getting bigger and so was her enthusiasm and delight about the season.

Yes, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The catalogs, decorations, lights, music, cards and cookie exchanges encourage that festive and joyful spirit of the holidays. It is a season of the four best gifts- joy, hope, peace and love. What a glorious season!

And then, somewhere along the way it just happens. Christmas becomes a responsibility and a logistical burden. There’s the family dispute over the selection of the perfect tree and how to get it home. (I prefer pretty and he prefers low cost!) The frustration over untangling the lights and hanging the outside wreaths perfectly!

And the lines and crowds in stores seem never ending.(Why is it that everyone seem to check out at the same time when you have ten minutes to pick the children up from school?) The “discussions” over the growing gift list and the shrinking holiday budget are all too common. (He asks what happened to just making friends and neighbors a pie?)

And let’s not forget getting those darling children to sit still for those holiday pictures! (They haven’t remained still since they were born!) Then, there are the holiday cards to coordinate and mail! And don’t forget those promised baked items for school celebrations! Throw in the party you agreed to host for friends and family …and well we haven’t even mentioned travel plans…instead of welcoming the season you slowly begin to wish it away.

As adults and parents, we become fixated on out personal vision of what the holiday should be to and for our families. We create such chaos trying to buy the perfect gifts, cook the most elegant meals and attend each and every event and party, that we miss it all together. Miss what?

Several years ago, I decided to take a sabbatical from the Christmas chaos. Now, I wish I could say I did it for soulful reasons, but it was done partly for survival and the other in self pity. You see, my husband had deployed for Iraq that very October and would be away through March. Among most of the holidays, our anniversary and a birthday, he would miss Christmas as well.

So, I found myself five months pregnant with an energetic two year old in our home in Savannah alone for the holidays. The man we loved the most was a half a world away in a war many didn’t understand and both sides of immediate family several states away. Christmas could not and would not be the same.

I decided to shorten my gift list, limit the holiday cards, purchase holiday food versus baking and half heartedly decorated our front porch. I made the decision to remain in our home for the holidays afraid to venture too far due to a pregnancy and a two year old! Like a storm, I hunkered down and was prepared just to ride it out. The sooner it was over, the better. Then, it began to happen.

One neighbor insisted on helping me locate and transport a tree. Another came over to hang those beautiful wreaths outside those windows knowing they were out of reach for me. Several neighborhood boys pitched in and raked our yard while we weren’t home. Another friend came over and we decorated the house together! Neighbors brought by meals and baked goods. Church friends began calling to offer help. We received invitations from close friends to celebrate with their families on Christmas Eve, Christmas lunch and dinner! One friend delivered special gifts that my husband had selected from afar for all of us! My parents made a surprise visit to check on us!

Our church youth sent my husband a felt Christmas tree complete with ornaments containing pictures of our family and friends! The word spread that he was visiting the wounded in his free time and he began receiving huge boxes of items for our soldiers from friends, family and folks we never had a chance to meet from all over!

And the best? Christmas morning my oldest daughter and I had just finished opening gifts. To my amazement, there was a knock on our door. I opened the door and in came Santa with a loud “Ho, ho, Ho”, gifts and the biggest smile I have ever seen. Tears ran down my cheeks. My daughter cried too, not out of joy but of terror of the jolly old man! We have a great picture of her sitting on his lap just wailing! I cried because he brightened our home with the very best gifts of the season…the real gifts.

I learned that no matter how hard you try to hide from Christmas, it will find you. It just will. There will always be the “busy-ness” of Christmas but now, as a parent of two daughters, we are committed to teaching them by example the real meaning of the season…just like the many friends, families and strangers did for us that difficult but memorable year.

They are young at two and four, but it is never too early to teach them about giving. Last year, we shopped as a family for food to take to Metropolitan Ministries and our oldest helped unload the food! This year, the girls helped with Operation Christmas Child box items for school and church. This weekend my husband will take them with him to fill a bag with non-perishables for a food drive at church. We will take them along when we select a few new bikes for Alex’s Barbecue Restaurant’s annual bike drive for local children.

Some of our giving may be more quiet-helping a known Mom or family in need, seeing a story in the paper that tugs at the heart strings or just sending special handwritten notes from us or our children to brighten a spirit.

As a Mom, I always am in great wonder about the impact these giving acts have on our children. While explaining these gestures along the way, deep down I long for a sign that they have grasped just a tidbit of what these acts really mean. Just the other day, as I handed our oldest her operation Christmas box to take to school, she looked at me with a smile and said. “It is good to help others.” Yes, it is.

In all the “busy-ness” of this season, may the real Christmas find its way to you and your family. Merry Christmas!