I chucked the suits, business meetings, pay raises and titles and had one baby and then another. The other day as I wiped the crumbs off the counter, changed yet another diaper and took a look at my house-that just an hour before was as near "straight" as it could get...it hit me.
No, I wasn't in the twilight zone-I had entered the "up" phase. The words as my daughters are 2 and 4, that best describe this are clean up, wipe up, throw up, pick up, tidy up, put up, hurry up, strighten up, wash up and get up--and sometimes give up. If I am not doing or assisting with one of these at any given time, either the kids have run away or I have entered another world-and we're not talking about the twilight zone. If you are a Mom, you know what I am talking about! Perpetual motion, non-stop, non-thrilling-but must do actions! The kind that makes your eyes heavy and ears shut down at 8pm!
Now, in my prior career life I managed quite a number of people, but a flock of 22 just can't compare to the likes of the baby and toddler years. Back then, complete with cell phone and pager I could handle about anything or anyone...and now in the midst of joyful chaos and the up phase...my husband giggled when I incorrectly spelled cat "turd" (terd) in a recent e-mail(and you don't want to know what that was all about!) What has happened? I and many Moms before me have been turned "upside down"! I am mixed-up...
I chuckle, I laugh and I cry.
I have worn a shirt inside out for an entire day. (Did my friends think I planned it?)
I have mistaken mascara for lip gloss. (Pink is better!)
I have worn 2 different shoes-and was proud. (It's great to be noticed!)
I have diligently tried to unlock someone else's car--it looked like mine.
I have showed up for my daughter's school on a school holiday-(short drop off line!)
I have forgotten food for a school party! (Oh no! Would the home room Moms forgive me?)
I forgot one school party and a year later my daughter still remembers it! (Does she remember the 25 that I have attended?)
I have gone places looking like I said I never, ever would! (More compliments when I dress up-right?)
I dial a number, forget who I was calling and when they answer--am startled for a moment - and so are they when I ask who I am calling! (Afterall, I called them!)
And the list goes on...
I am in the up phase and my life is upside down...it is joyful, frustrating, fun, challenging, maddening, boring, exciting, scary and amazing...and when my 4 year old runs over for no reason and says "I love you Mom" (and asks for nothing) it is uplifting and makes all the joyful chaos worth it all...
Here's to all the Moms! Keep it "up"!
Lisa
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1 comment:
Lisa, oh, how I do remember the "Up" phase of Motherhood! As I read your "blog" the memories began "rushing in" of those very tryng and tiring days when my 3 children were so young! But just as I somehow "forgot" about the pains of childbirth after the birth of each baby, I seemed to have "forgotten" most of those very trying and tiring days until I re-lived them with you!
I am writing as one "who made it through" those rough years! How? I took it one day at a time and prayed a lot and tried very hard to see the humor in the events of each day! It must have worked, as my husband and I "survived" and celebrated our Golden Anniversary" this past August! Our 3 children are all happily married and together gave us 8 wonderful grandchildren! (Five of them were in college this past year!) That has been the "pay-off" at the end of that journey through Motherhood!
During their early years, I was a "stay at home mom", but then I resumed my nursing career and had to learn to juggle all the "motherhood" roles with those of a full-time job! Looking back now, I realize that my husband and children really didn't suffer, as I found ways to meet their needs. But I didn't take time for myself. I most often put my "needs" on hold. Would I make those same decisions again? Probably I would do it all the same way because I didn't know how to do anything differently! I found my happiness in seeing that my husband and children were happy and well adjusted! Somehow I even taught the 2 sons and my daughter to cook, help with the housework and how to do the laundry and even to iron! (Maybe that was part of MY survival skills!)
My primary advice (after looking backwards through all these years) is to enjoy each day. As they grow, the challenges become so different. You are now in the "up" years, but soon it will become the "go" years with the driving them to music, dancing, sports events,play dates, birthday parties, and etc., etc, etc!! Then too soon will come the teen years and all those challenges!!
I guess my best advice is to not look forward too far! Just enjoy each day and live it to the fullest. That's where you "store up" all those wonderful memories to enjoy during your "twilight years". It's such a good feeling to look back and be able to say, "Lord, with a lot of help from you, I made it!" My prayers are with you as you travel this wonderful road through Motherhood!!
And I must admit that I used to have a bit of envy for those beautiful suits, that size 6 figure and living vicarously through all your stories of your wonderful and exciting weekends and wondering how you could stay awake on Monday morning after those exciting weekends!!!!
After 50 years of marriage my husband is still to me, as handsome and exciting as he was 50 years ago!! It's been a lot of hard work, but it has been worth it, and we are living proof that it CAN BE DONE!!
Good luck to all of you young mothers out there!!
Barbara
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